Grief is back to kick you in the face

When you see grief in someone’s eyes, the world just stops.
Maybe it keeps buzzing and beeping, but all those noises fade into the background.
Life is so precious.
Lives end so fast.
So often.
So unplanned.

When you get a call, when you say goodbye, when you just can’t believe it– Grief kicks you right in the face and says “Hey, remember me? I used to haunt you with past conversations and memories of dancing. I’m back. And I’m here to tear you apart. But I’m just a part of life. I knew I would meet you again, old friend.”
You get swallowed into sad songs and can’t stand to sit in silence because you might fall into grief. You might get trapped in a world where everyone is dying and there’s nothing you can do about it. It hurts. And you know what? It’s okay that it hurts. Nothing hurts more than knowing you saw them just yesterday. And now they’re gone. Who will wear her dancing shoes? Who will drive his truck? Who can ever fill the gap they left in your heart?
It hurts. And it tears and it pulls and it all just caves in. Yet, after all that pain, you run out of tissues. You’ve finally come to the conclusion that they can’t come back, that they lived and loved and now it’s your turn. No matter how long it takes you to grieve– weeks, months, years- know that grieving is a process. That you need time to absorb all that’s happened and cry it out. Or work it out. Or whatever it takes. You need time.
And when it’s over, you will be okay.
You might feel lonely. Better to be lonely and reminiscing than feel surrounded and depressed. Know that there are So.Many.People just like you– who lost a father or a mother or a sibling or a mentor or a friend or a dog or an uncle or a cousin. Know that you are not alone in this walk, in this world. Know that you can shoo grief away when you don’t feel like crying. Know that it’s okay to be happy when others are not. Know that it’s okay to be okay.

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